Ice on the Prize

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From cell phones to toothpicks, belts, cups, chains, and grills (that’s teeth for any readers searching feverishly for their hip hop dictionary, but in case you’re still searching, it’s after “ghetto fab” and before “gully”). Either way, almost anything can now be “iced out” and until now "iced out” was only a figure of speech, not to be taken literally.

Coming out of the year of economic hell aka 2009, in great financial shape was a feat for just about anyone with a pulse. So in an effort of taking back charge many people have sought ways to “tighten the belt” on their spending. Some have gone cash only (see: Ballin’), some just stay at home, others have gotten reacquainted with the old college faithful, Ramen Noodles, and countless others have requested that their credit card APR’s (annual percentage rates) be decreased. With the national average on credit card APR’s hovering around 14.9% and quite a few even as high as 30%, we can see why they would want to lower it. These are just a few of the cool methods being taken to tighten up on finances. However, in the words of Andre 3000, of Hip-Hop duo Outkast, we say “What’s cooler than being cool? Ice cold!” Ice cold credit that is, icing your credit may seem a bit drastic for some, but let us assure you that it sure is effective.

For those of you looking to put the credit card down and hiding it from yourself isn’t working, or telling yourself “one last time” for the tenth time is just getting played out, we suggest the following financial empowerment tip:

Take 2 zip lock bags, preferably ones with no holes and never used. Place all your credit cards that you would like to free yourself of readily reaching for (or anybody else reaching for) in one of the zip lock bags and firmly seal it. Next, place the sealed bag with enclosed credit cards inside of the second zip lock bag. Fill the second bag (now with the 1st bag in it) 3/4 to the top with water and seal bag firmly to prevent spilling. Lastly, place the bags in the freezer in a safe spot (like next to the bag of vegetables you purchased a year ago) and wait for bag to freeze in approximately 8 hours. There you have it “iced out” credit.

Now why does this work. Iced out credit is effective because often times, you forget you even have the credit cards. Also, if and when you do remember that you have the cards, you must thaw the “iced out” credit cards before using them: remember did you ever really want to break the piggy bank with the hammer? Next, the mental impact of watching yourself thaw a block of ice for access to your card(s) can be likened to the designed effectiveness of the original piggybank that could only be opened by breaking. The thawing procedure does sway impulse buys and sporadic spending charges, just as the breakable piggybank sways needless spending. Plus the little pink pig doesn’t quite match the leather furniture you were hoping to upgrade to. Lastly, no need to worry about damaging the card(s), it should be safely secured in the first bag, therefore preventing any water damage. And if water damage did happen, would it be all that terrible?

Good luck with getting iced out.